5 Ways Teachers/Therapists Can Help Parents Manage Stress
Oh the wonderful world of parenting.
There have been so many information and resources on “tips for parenting a child with Autism” and “helping your child with Autism thrive”, yet, there are rarely any post about “how to help parents cope with their Autistic child/children” or “tips on how to handle parents whose child/children have autism”. It’s so easy to worry about the children that we tend to forget the people who are 24/7 on the clock watching and looking out for these kids. We don’t know half of the struggles and battles they have conquered every single day.
As a professional who have worked with children who has Autism all her life, you can see that my job is never boring. Everyday is always different. There are days where a child can throw a tantrum for an hour non-stop due to a pain they may be experiencing that they struggle to communicate with us. There’s also a chance that they may put themselves in danger by running across the street without being aware of cars driving by. For parents, every second of their lives revolve around their kids and it makes it that much harder to deal with children who has Autism. Everything and anything can happen within a blink of an eye and one wrong move can cause a major life threatening to their child. So as a professional who knows their daily struggle, here are some ways that can relieve stress and bring comfort to their lives.
Be empathetic. I can’t say this enough. This might have to be the most important one of all, which is why it’s on top of this list! These parents are already going through so much and whether you agree with their parenting style or not, no one else will be able to understand them as much us. Ways we can empathize:
LISTEN – sometimes, we get so caught up in providing advices that we forget to just listen. Let them take all their stress out. It’s okay to just sit there and let them vent.
OFFER TO LEND A HAND – offer any extra help if they need it.
NO JUDGEMENT ZONE – we may not agree to all of the things they do as a parent, but everyone has their own different experiences and ways to survive those challenging situations. Survival of the fittest.
BE SENSITIVE – think before you say. These parents go through a lot. By making sure we are being sensitive towards their feelings will create positive rapport and relationships.
STAY POSITIVE – negativity is not allowed. There is a difference between being straightforward with expectations vs. telling a parent that they are not doing a certain thing right. These parents are trying their best to work with what they have and not all parents have that support system and resources. Staying positive is the only thing that is keeping them hopeful for a better tomorrow.
Set realistic expectations. As kids with autism gets older, their differences become more visible such as stemming on objects, hand flapping, more sensitive to sounds (causes tantrums in public). All these challenging situations can be tough to handle when they don’t expect them. Therefore, be straightforward with parents. They may or may not experience these things, but at least they will become more aware and prepared. Tell them what they can expect to see and experience with their child with autism as they get old and how to deal with that. When the future is more visible, they can better prepare themselves mentally and physically.
Provide resources. You can’t just be straightforward with parents on the upcoming challenges they may or may not experience without providing any resources. These parents already have so much on their plate, so the least thing we can do to make their lives easier is to provide them with resources that they can use such as finding them local parenting groups who is also dealing with the same situation and proper health and wellness activities for both parents and the kids (nutrition, physical activity). Parents with autistic children barely gets enough rest/sleep. Provide resources for kids club or any extra curricular activities for their kids to join and for them to get more rest. Recharge their batteries.
Sandwich method (feedback). When providing feedback to parents, make sure to first provide a praise, followed by a corrective feedback and end with another praise. Parents who are dealing with tough situations everyday of their lives does not need any more negativity.
Reassurance. Let them know that they are not alone and that they are doing an awesome job at what they do. Raising a kid is already tough enough, you can only imagine raising a child who is constantly fighting their own battles without any control. It’s tough. Let them know that everything will be okay because it will.
Truly believe in what you tell the parents that you work with because they have strong senses with these kind of things. They will know your sincerity, so make sure to love what you do and share that love and warmth with the parents you work with.
